Thrift Store Pen-Pals! (Aren't Trying to Kill Me)

I arrived home to discover a small package sitting upon the pile of crap sitting upon my laptop in the kitchen. I looked at and flipped it over, analyzing all sides of it. The return address indicated it came from one Mr. Wood.  Being too impatient to wait for my bomb squad and forensics team, I gave the box a small shake. To my relief it did not explode, however the rattling sound also confirmed the sad fact I did not receive a bunny. Not even an exploding bunny. But to be sure I let my cat check it out.

Going to apologize now for poor resolution and orientation.  Some photos were done via iPod and can't be edited *mumblegrumblerootintootinvarmits

 He rubbed against it and started purring, a sure sign of nothing. It was time to open the package.

Package breached!

It contained two items. A tiny, disassembled torture device and a tiny colouring book with even tinier coloured pencils. I would need a special team to figure out these devices did.

They immediately set about extracting the wooden torture device from its anaerobic containment unit.

Upon closer inspection of its parts, the team decided it must a robot or mech-suit of some sort and began the assembly process.

It took a few tries before it started making sense. They finally completed the terrifying war machine and set about testing it...

It proved highly ineffective and the team decided it should go to the scrap heap

The next item proved just as difficult for the team. The color-by-number system eluded them and they went all willy-nilly on it.

Sarlaacs are no laughing matter.

The team poses for a shot after confirming there was nothing hostile in the package.

And so that's my long-delayed report on my Thrift-Store Pen Pals Package.  Glad to see Woody isn't trying to kill me =D